


Animal Impulses

by Mercyfulkate



Category: GHOST - Fandom, Ghost (Sweden Band), the band ghost
Genre: Angry Sex, Blood, Depression, Drinking, M/M, Papa III - Freeform, Rough Sex, Ups and Downs, angsty, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-06-05 21:13:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15179540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercyfulkate/pseuds/Mercyfulkate
Summary: This is a prompt I received on Tumblr, "How long have you been standing there?"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a song by IAMX. I don't own it.

I glance at the clock on the wall. He’s an hour late. I sigh, placing my glass on the table.

He promised.

I lift my lifeless body up from the table and make my way up the stairs to his study. But if I’m being completely honest with myself I don’t even remember the last time we shared the bed. He spends all his nights here. I can feel my eyes start to water as I let that sink in. I push the tears back as I reach his door.

I just stand there. He’s not even dressed. He’s totally forgotten. I shift my weight to my left leg as I watch him. He’s so enthralled with his research. The floor board squeaks gaining his attention.

“You might as well come in.” He motions quickly with his hand, I cross the threshold and close the door quietly. The lights are low. It’s comforting. Even though the window is open the room has a warmth about it. I can hear the rain. I let my eyes roam. His back is facing me. His head in another book. There’s always another book.

It takes him a few minutes to put the book down. At this point I don’t even bother hiding my tears. I let them fall freely.

“Are you going out? You’re wearing my favorite cologne.” He bends over to pick up another book, he skims through it quickly, he tosses it back onto the desk deeming it useless.

“Not anymore.”

He grabs another book, from the shelf this time, his back still facing me.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Alpha.”

Without another word I walk out of the room leaving him to his research. I make my way down the stairs to the kitchen. I grab the bottle of whisky off the bar and pour a shot, knocking back three in a row. My mouth waters, my chest burns, and my heart aches. After another three shots I pour myself a decent glass and make my way to the patio. I trip, kicking the foot stool as I cross through the living room.

The shots work fast on an empty stomach. I try to blink through the tears but more keep coming. Finally making it to the patio, I tear the door open, it slams against the wall, but I don’t give a fuck.

I’m drunk. And I want to stand in the rain.

I place my hands on the railing and look out over our garden. At least I won’t have to water tomorrow.

Omega bought me this suit. He had it tailored. I honestly don’t know why he bothered. It’s not like he ever gets to see me in. Which is a shame, because I look great in it. It’s going to be so hard to take off now that it’s wet. I’ll fucking sleep in it, I don’t care. Another sip has me choking a bit. It fucking burns.

I go to run my fingers through my hair but remember I shaved it all off yesterday. Omega hardly noticed. Finishing my drink, I drop my glass onto the floor, not even flinching as the sound of shattering glass pierces the air.

Fuck, I’m drunk. I can feel myself swaying so I grab the railing tightly to keep from falling over. Maybe I should sit down. I turn around and sit down, my back firmly against the metal framing. I close my eyes and think about how differently I had hoped tonight would turn out. But here I am, again, drunk by myself.

I open my eyes to find Omega standing in front of me. He’s crying.

“How long have you been standing there?” I cry out, sobbing, my heart hurts.

“I fucked up again, didn’t I?” Typical Omega, answering a question with a question.

I slam my hands down onto the patio floor, forgetting the broken glass until it’s slicing my hand open.

“Fuck! Omega! How long have you been standing there?!”

He leans down, sitting on the ground in front of me. He takes my hand, freeing me of the glass.

“Long enough, Alpha. Long enough.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is some shit

Holy fuck, my head. 

Shit. 

My hand. 

My hand! 

I launch myself out of the bed so fast that when my eyes open they can’t keep up, and neither can my stomach. As my nausea takes over I forget about my hand, gripping the bedding tightly as I plant my feet firmly into the floor.  
There is no food coming up, and why would there be, we never made it to dinner; only whisky. And it fucking burns. 

Omega is going to kill me for puking on the floor. 

I can’t stop the bitter laugh that follows. 

Right. 

“Is there something funny?”

Fuck, shock hits me and triggers another round of nausea. 

“I fail to see what’s so funny about you getting sick all over the floor of our bedroom.”

Ha! 

“Our room? Now that is funny. Tell me Omega, when was the last time you shared ‘our’ room?”

He’s pissed. That much is apparent. But I can’t keep pretending that everything is fine, I can’t keep lying. 

“Tell me, was it last night after you put me to bed?”

I stand up and make my way towards him, my foot slipping a bit as I walk through the mess I made of the floor.

I hate it. How can he sit over there and look almost unbothered by the state of our relationship, and I’m fucking walking in my own vomit? 

“Don’t make me laugh, Omega. I might get sick again.” 

I walk past him, opening the door, I call for Gracey, our dog. 

She runs up the stairs at full speed but pauses before entering, she can feel the discomfort in the room, but she catches the smell of my vomit and eagerly trots over and helps herself to it. 

“Seriously?” Omega calls out as I walk towards the bathroom.

“She’s happy to do it. You’d deny her of that?” I shrug him off as I close the door to the bathroom. Safe from his graze I let it all out. The frustration, the embarrassment, the pain, fuck! My hand. It’s bleeding through the bandage. 

Fuck! 

I can’t see a fucking thing through all these tears. God Damnit! What are we doing?!

“Alpha! Open the door! Please, how can I help you?” Omega pounds on the door, unmoving, as I increase the spell on the knob. 

“Jesus, fuck! Just go! You can’t- you can’t see me like this.” The sound of the door knob rattling makes me cry even harder. I turn around, flinging my shirt off and over my head, I sit down in the tub, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my chin on my knees. 

“I know I’ve been awful lately. I haven’t been present at all. I haven’t treated you like a lover should.” 

I can’t help but laugh. This is the most time we’ve spent together in weeks. 

“Lover? Do you know what that is?” He’s struggling with the door again. 

“I am your Lover, Alpha.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Greif can truly change a person. It’s been months since the Church took Papa from us. Omega walks around like it’s no big deal, like he can’t be bothered, his nose always in a book. He won’t even tell me what it’s all about. 

‘Just be patient.’ He says. 

I never used to be this heavy of a drinker, but the Church is still looking for a replacement, and I miss our Papa, I miss our trio. It doesn’t look like he will be returning, in any capacity. 

I miss Omega. 

I release the hold on the door knob. The door slams open almost knocking Omega off his feet as he walks through. He looks exhausted. Beaten down. What is it keeping him from me these days? He’s across the room in three large strides, I don’t know the last time I saw him move with such passion, which such urgency. There is no hesitation as he steps inside the tub, sitting down in front of me, his large heavy hands on my shoulders. His touch is sacred. 

“Alpha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the part with Gracey is kinda extreme. I wasn't sure If I wanted to add it, but I feel like it needs to be there to show how depressed Alpha has become.
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments! I don’t know if you’re enjoying it if you don’t reach out. <3

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a oneshot, but I'm thinking I might keep it going. Thanks for reading. I know it short.


End file.
